Stronger
by AznxAngel
Summary: A song-fic about Relena realizing that Heero has broken her heart too many times. Will Heero be able to win her love back or will it be mission failed?


Stronger   
  
Ooh hey, yeah   
  
Hush, just stop   
There's nothing you can do or say, baby   
I've had enough   
I'm not your property as from today, baby   
You might think that I won't make it on my own   
But now I'm…   
  
  
Relena sat in her casual clothing absent mindedly stroking her hair. She was thinking back to all the encouters she had with Heero. He only caused more stress if not the curse of an aching heart. Her mind kept flooding back to the night when Heero came after 2 years since he said good bye.  
  
~*~FLASHBACK~*~  
"Heero..."Relena almost spat in disgust. He gave her a solemn stare and waited for her to finish her sentence. "You've left me nearly 1 and a half years ago a crying mess. What more do you need to kill? You've humiliated me, hurt me and not to mention broke out total chaos around the colonies on a jealous rampage just because of me escorting Trowa to a ball, when YOU, forgot about the deligate's meeting!"  
"I know that I have made you grieve and I can make up for that. I swear Relena to you my undying love and affection. You know as well that I care." Heero sighed. "I have never broken my promise of protecting and loving you."  
"On the contrary my perfect soldier, you HAVE broken the promise," Relena replied. Heero raised an eye brow and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Every single time we come back together, not once have you failed not to break my heart. The breaking of my heart all of the time is causing my downfall. It's not Fair."  
"Relena, life isn't fair."  
~*~END FLASHBACK*~  
  
'These inquiaries have given me thought. These encounters of finally finding true happiness is always somehow shattered by Heero's mistake of walking away from what he really wants. It's hardening me. It's hardening my heart. Now the more he walks away the more I become accostomed to this constant pattern.' Relena thought  
  
  
Stronger than yesterday   
Now it's nothing but my way   
My lonliness ain't killing me no more   
I'm stronger   
  
  
Nothing ever goes the way that I wish it could. Everyone around me claims that it's for my own good but in time you notice they step all over you and you can't help it. Heero. You walked all over me like I was some side walk. I can't stand this insanity of leaving and finding me over and over again. It's killing me from the inside. Litterally. My heart aches for you but my mind is blocking you out.   
  
  
That I ever thought that I could be, baby   
I used to go with the flow   
Didn't really care 'bout me   
You might think that I can't take it, but you're wrong   
'Cause now I'm…   
  
  
You always said that you loved me but in admist of those words they were only hollow. Empty, complete and utterly empty. They never came from the bottom of your heart. Those words never came from your heart nor your soul. They were words. Plain words that you use to speak when you are cursing someone. I thought that I could never take it. I always drowned in the "I love you" 's and other affectionate phrases. I simply enjoyed the words from your lips. But time has proven that they were nothing. I thought that you truely loved me, but here I stand corrected. The actions you have made are simply chaotic and you never once thought of the people who love you and care. When I think back to the first time you left me to rot all alone, I thought I would pass away in that very moment you left, but here I stand tall and proud. If you haven't noticed I'm stronger.  
  
  
Stronger than yesterday   
Now it's nothing but my way   
My lonliness ain't killing me no more   
I'm stronger   
  
Come on, now   
Oh, yeah   
  
  
If even my true love defises his feelings for me than all those whom cares would as well. I am better off dying at an old age without love or friends all alone. Not one person to talk to. I am better off that way if not even my love will not commit to me. That is only perposterous. Heero you may be the Perect Soldier, but you'll never live through the human emotions of which you are so alien to. It's truely amazing that one man can kill so many people and yet he cannot admit or show that he really feels things. Truely is amazing. It's funny, Heero, you once told me that I would be the first to fall if I let you walk away, but only time will prove you wrong. Only time.  
  
  
Here I go, on my own   
I don't need nobody, better off alone   
Here I go, on my own now   
I don't need nobody, not anybody   
Here I go, alright, here I go   
  
  
Human emotions rule. Heero that's your weak point. It's ironic that someone cannot express themselves through feeling. It's a god given gift and yet you do not know how to produce it.   
  
Relena sat on the fountains edge. Heero had slightly brushed past her but her trance was fixated on the rippling surface of liquid crystal. Heero cleared his throat only to recieve a vemonious glare from Relena. "Heero," she hissed. She clenched her teeth shut. Her eyes glared with flames of hell. The intense hatred in her eyes sent chills down Heero's spine. He thought, those once most angelic eyes were now cursed with the eternal flame of hell, all because of what? Because of him.  
"Heero, why don't you leave? You've deserted me so many times I would expect for you to be able to do it as if someone were paying you!" she shrieked.  
Those words pierced his heart dramatically. He felt his heart shrink and fell to the pit of his stomach. Heero contamplated on what to say, trying not to get matters worse.  
"Relena, I know that my actions have dissapointed you...." Heero was cut off by an eager Relena.  
"Dissapointed?! That's how you describe the feeling that has been flooding my heart?! Dissapointed? If that's what you think your dead wrong! I have felt the most unexplainable, heart wrenching, mind boggling, soul tearing agony there is to ever be experienced! The wrenching pain of when the person you love is gone! Wondering and arguing whether you've gotten hurt or even just left because of maybe something that I might have done! Do you understand that pain?! No you don't! You definitely wouldn't know since your the one who confidently walked off and left me standing in the rain so that I can go rot in hell?! What hell has twisted your demented, distorted, evil, melonchaoly, arogant, and not to mention pathetic little heart to ache for pain enflictment? You've used me numerous times to top it off! Those damn Gundam parts aren't exactly a penny a piece! You've used me to get to Jade and Terel! Twice! Dissapointed my ass. You wish that's all I was don't you? Well sorry to burst your bubble but I'm far from it!"  
"Relena! Calm yourself..." he began to yet again be cut off.  
"Calm down?" she asked in a sinister way. "Calm down? Your asking me to calm down when all of these cursed past emotions are resurfacing? Here how about I transfer all my pain to your heart and let's see who should calm down! How dare you even try to turn the tables?! The table is set and it says you have to go! Nothing will change it and you only have yourself to blame!"  
"LISTEN! What the hell happened to the sweet and innocent Relena I knew long ago that would follow her heart to true happiness? Has she left like the peace that once lived in your heart? Relena listen to me, you know we can fix everything if we just try. Can't we try?" Heero questioned.  
"The innocent little angel you knew is dead. You know who killed her? You did, Heero, you killed her along time ago and there's nothing that can get her back. The peace that once helped me to lift my spirit when I was down whent down with the old Relena. You see if I'm not mistaken a certain Perfect Soldier threatened to disturb that peace and disturb he did. And trying to fix what's already been fixed for millions of times is not going to get any better! We've tried in the past and it never worked out because some idiot never wants to stay with me! But you know what? The things you have done to me have made me struggle through. I'm stronger than yesterday. Now the lonliness that I faced is now over come. But..." Relena shouted. "This life I'm living with you, is not fair."  
"Relena life isn't fair."  
"No, Heero, only people like you make it unfair." With that she stood and turned her heel. Heero's mind slowed down to proccess the information. He realized that those last words were ringing over and over in his head. The clicks of her shoes soon became distant and in a split second deteriorated into nothingness. He stood there in the garden dumbfounded. His own selfish and emotionless actions had left him lifeless, loveless and most of all incomplete.   
  
Stronger than yesterday   
Now it's nothing but my way   
My lonliness ain't killing me no more   
I'm stronger   
  
  
  



End file.
